wow i didn't think that the first time i'd write in here in a long time would be when tears were welling up in my eyes and my heart is squeezing so tightly... anyway i'm falling in love with this guy and honestly he's perfect for me, in every single way he completes me and he makes my whole existence on this earth mean something. i've known him for three years and well i guess you could say i fell for him the first time i saw him, even if that's cliche i loved him from the start. we've both been in relationship's and i guess in the back oh my mind i always held out hope we'd end up together. and i'm so glad that we did =) so anyway getting on to my problem... he's always wanted me to be more open about my emotions and when i have a problem because he's the kind of person who loves helping out. well yesterday i tried to open up and he tried but i guess he was wound up or something cuz he lashed out. i was so close to losing my temper but i ended up crying my eyes out. what hurt the most was when he said so bitterly that i should just go ahead and break up with him. i just lost it there. i was crying, for the first time in my life, over a guy. that's when i realized that yea i could break up with him, but i wouldn't gain anything, i'd end up losing everything i ever wanted- a guy who i loved more than anything and cared more about than even myself, the kind of guy i'd give sleep up for (and i'm the kind of girl who loves sleep). of course i told him i refused to do it, that if he wanted to end it he should freaking do it himself, i wouldn't do it because i really did love him, and that's where he realized what he said. he felt so bad about it and apologized a million times. i really do love him and i meant it when i said nothing could change that, but right now my heart is so sore and i really wish i could just lay in his arms right now and cry... it hurt when he said that and i guess maybe i can't deal with ever losing him... anyway that's it sorry for sounding so complain-y

one:
what do you do when
the one guy who made everything better,
the guy who said everything would be alright,
the one who you opened up to and made you vulnerable,
the guy who got through to you...
let you down?

one:
remember, i love you... i've always loved you, and i always will

two:
did you ever realize the people
who you care about the most, 
who promised to never hurt you
are the ones who hurt you the most



three:
just because i smile
doesn't mean i'm not crying inside
just because i say i'm okay
doesn't make it true
just because i survived it
doesn't mean it was ever alright

four:
take me back when our world was one block wide
i dare you to kiss me and ran when you tried
just two kids... you and i
-Mary's Song (Oh My My My)

five:
you know, you don't need me, you've never needed me. you're strong enough to make it on you own, to do things that you can barely imagine. the truth is, i need you, i've always needed you and i don't think i could make it with out you there to hold my hand

six:
once you truly love somebody, you never stop loving them. you think you stop, but a tiny part of you still loves them.

seven:
we're changing, i can't be friends with you anymore. i love you and i think we've both been waiting to long.

eight:
i need you to understand, i can't live without you

nine:
i know what's best for me... but i want you

ten:
i really hate what we've become. we were so close and now we can barely look each other in the eyes. i dunno what it was that made me do what i did but i have to say i don't regret any part of it except what it's done to us. maybe we just weren't ready to be with each other or maybe its just we were never meant to be with each other... at least not in that way. maybe fate is telling us that this wasn't suppose to happen, but the fact is, it did happen and we can't undo what has already been done. we can't start all over again, that much is clear, but maybe... we can start again... take off from the time before any of this started. it's definately not going to be the same, but i'm willing to try... and also... i miss you



eleven:
its no big deal, i've only been planning this for two weeks... no biggie

twelve:
you make my body lose feeling
and fill my heart with such meaning <3

poll: Have you ever made big plans and they person totally ditched then made some lame excuse?

one:
love isn't about the words we say, the actions we take, the things we do. it's about two people who can just look at each other and know 'this is who i want to be with for the rest of my life'


two:
no matter what, don't give up on the things that made you smile



three:
i wanted to tell him that i will never be sorry for loving him. that in a way i still do... that maybe i always will. ill never regret one single thing we did together because what we had was special... maybe it's just that im not ready forever
-Forever by Judy Blume


four:
babe, i know you're thinking something, you just don't want to tell me what it is. but i know you,  really i do. i know you better than anyone has ever  known you



five:
nobody ever said that this would be easy, all they said is it would be worth it


six:
it's not just me that feels this way, there are alot of other kids like me who have these feelings and you are just one of the people i and them would like to be friends with



seven:
Te amo... Je t'aime... ICh liebe dich... Mahal Kita
i know over 40 ways to say i love you, but still there aren't enough...

eight:
just seeing your name pop up on my phone is enough to send my heart soaring <3

nine:
don't go wasting your emotions
lay all your love on me
don't go sharing your devotion
lay all your love on me
             -Abba "Lay all Your Love on Me"

ten:
a story book romance, that's what he had. what we didn't know is not all stories end happily...

one:
well this is it, this is what you wanted
is it what you expected it to be?
was it worth it to risk losing a friend in order
to reach for something you didn't understand?

two:
how can you go around helping people when you can't even help yourself?

three:
love has a funny habit of being so difficult
and at the last minute turning around and working out

four:
sometimes you just need to
look at the world through new eyes
and realize it will always keep turning.
              -Bubbley_quotes




five:
how many times do i have to say it, there is no one else.
it's just you, it's always been you and it always will be.

six:
hello stranger, do you remember me?
remember when we use to love each other?




seven:
i may not have money or cars or fancy gifts
in fact i don't have much to offer
but i swear it's true, no one will love you more

eight:
i swear, you're the only thing that keeps me sane
you're the glue that keeps me world together




nine:
my heart is like a giant coloring book, you fill in the blank spaces with color and you see the beauty of the picture

ten:
the saddest part about this isn't
that i need you more and more everyday
it's that every day that passes you still don't need me



poll: what do you prefer, a fling or a long term relationship?

dear graduated class of '08,
this has been the greatest years of my life. in entering middle school i was a shy and easily intimidated girl, but now upon leaving it, i emerge a confident and more out-spoken young women. because of my years in middle school, i have been greatly changed, both by my teachers and my peers. so many time, so many memories, and all the great friends, have shaped my life and they shall always be remembered, thank you for all you have done for me, especially those close friends. thank you and good luck to all of you in high school. perhaps we shall meet again someday

one:
all i want to do is be with him
and when we fight, all i know
he's the only one i want to be with
                           

two:
so what if you don't know why you feel like this? does it matter? you need a reason to be sad, but you don't need a reason to be happy.

three:
"if you do this i will leave you alone" well maybe i don't want you to leave me alone; maybe i want to be around you. ever think of that as a possibility?

four:
no matter how close you are, no matter how long you've known each other, everyone is going to end up leaving you, whether willingly or not. so take this moment, take the time you have with them, to truly enjoy their company. you never know when someone can up and leave, so act like every day is your last with them

five:
i told you a hundred times, there is nothing going on between me and anyone else. it's only you. it's only ever been you!

six:
when i'm with you i just... feel extraordinary

seven:
i think i've found the guy who i'm suppose to be with. THE ONE. the guy who all day, everyday, he's the only thing you think about. who no matter what happens, you'll always want to be with